Let’s Talk About Death

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Truth is we are really shit at dying? Our own death and those of our loved ones. We are just not very comfortable with death and dying? The only certainty in life, we know it’s going to come yetContinue reading “Let’s Talk About Death”

He Is Gone (She Is Gone)

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. You can shed tears that he is goneOr you can smile because he has livedYou can close your eyes and pray that he will come backOr you can open your eyes and see all that he has leftYour heartContinue reading “He Is Gone (She Is Gone)”

John

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Professionally 1973-1999 – Musician… ask me who I am, I would reply – ‘I am ‘Johnny Riff’ – Riff to my friends, I play in a band’. A performer, an artist (recording), a writer (songs, music), an engineer (music,Continue reading “John”

What is a Life?

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Pain. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Death There is never a good time to die and dying is filled with many challenges and not only for the dying. Despite the certainty of it, we are really shit at it? Most of us acknowledge how vital itContinue reading “What is a Life?”

Won The Battle Now The War

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace  Fight Vindication The scan had produced the goods. I felt vindicated for my stubborn refusal to concede the scan. A scan I had been promised. Reality. Truth is if I had not been promised it I would have not even been aware of it?Continue reading “Won The Battle Now The War”

Desperate Times Desperate Measures

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace  Master Forger My frustrations of not receiving a PSMA scan (to inform my advanced cancer treatment) literally, boiled over. With only two possibilities wait (hope) that the Christie produced availability or zero. No possibility for a (UK) scan. We had an imminent trip toContinue reading “Desperate Times Desperate Measures”

Small(er) Things Big(er) Things

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace When you find out you have finite time (to live)? A natural response might be blind terror, panic …..questions? What about all of those things I need to (now) do? To attend to? The ‘putting of ones affairs in order’! I can’t believe someContinue reading “Small(er) Things Big(er) Things”

Time. 16. 17 and beyond

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace Fight For the second time in only a few months I was told that I had (incurable) cancer. I had already been told I had cancer, but not incurable cancer. It was even more terrifying hearing it the second time. They don’t know untilContinue reading “Time. 16. 17 and beyond”

Time Waits For No Man

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace Time We are all at it’s Mercy? A cancer diagnosis is a powerful catalyst for change. Imposed change and controlled change. Positive and negative. I was diagnosed Christmas Eve 2015 No you weren’t? If you have read some of my previous posts, you willContinue reading “Time Waits For No Man”

Spill the Beans

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace 23rd December 2015 5.45PM What seemed about 15 minutes of crying …. sobbing, loudly, inconsolably in the carpark and then less violently sitting in my car. When I could, I drove the short journey home. I still had it in my mind that IContinue reading “Spill the Beans”