I would rather know

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Today is results day. The results of my latest PSMA-PET scan. PSA level is (still) the most reliable indication of prostate cancer advancement. A simple blood test (PSA test). A sudden change ‘a spike’ is never good. I had a scheduled (every 6 months) PSA test in April with nothing thatContinue reading “I would rather know”

That’s Life

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. There are things we enjoy, love in our lives and things that just have to be done. Most of us have to work for a living, if we are (very) lucky we get to have a job we love? Work, our job, is a massive part of our lives. How muchContinue reading “That’s Life”

Let’s Talk About Death

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Truth is we are really shit at dying? Our own death and those of our loved ones. We are just not very comfortable with death and dying? The only certainty in life, we know it’s going to come yetContinue reading “Let’s Talk About Death”

He Is Gone (She Is Gone)

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. You can shed tears that he is goneOr you can smile because he has livedYou can close your eyes and pray that he will come backOr you can open your eyes and see all that he has leftYour heartContinue reading “He Is Gone (She Is Gone)”

John

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Professionally 1973-1999 – Musician… ask me who I am, I would reply – ‘I am ‘Johnny Riff’ – Riff to my friends, I play in a band’. A performer, an artist (recording), a writer (songs, music), an engineer (music,Continue reading “John”

What Is A Life?

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Pain. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Death There is never a good time to die and dying is filled with many challenges and not only for the dying. Despite the certainty of it, we are really shit at it? Most of us acknowledge how vital itContinue reading “What Is A Life?”

Won The Battle Now The War

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace  Fight Vindication The scan had produced the goods. I felt vindicated for my stubborn refusal to concede the scan. A scan I had been promised. Reality. Truth is if I had not been promised it I would have not even been aware of it?Continue reading “Won The Battle Now The War”

Desperate Times Desperate Measures

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace  Master Forger My frustrations of not receiving a PSMA scan (to inform my advanced cancer treatment) literally, boiled over. With only two possibilities wait (hope) that the Christie produced availability or zero. No possibility for a (UK) scan. We had an imminent trip toContinue reading “Desperate Times Desperate Measures”

Small(er) Things Big(er) Things

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace When you find out you have finite time (to live)? A natural response might be blind terror, panic …..questions? What about all of those things I need to (now) do? To attend to? The ‘putting of ones affairs in order’! I can’t believe someContinue reading “Small(er) Things Big(er) Things”