Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death It’s that time again, blood tests, a round of scans and the short, stressful, wait to see how much worse my cancer is. No matter how many times I go thru this it is always the most stressful of times within my treatment cycle. SCANXIETY The wait between having a scan and gettingContinue reading “Scanxiety”

45 Days of Chaos

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death 22nd October 2022 – The UK’s economic outlook has been downgraded from “stable” to “negative” by the rating agency Moody’s because of political instability and high inflation. Moody’s said the change in outlook was driven by “heightened unpredictability in policymaking amid weaker growth prospects and high inflation” and “risks to the UK’s debtContinue reading “45 Days of Chaos”

Therapeutic Cancer Vaccine

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Today is a good day, no it was better than that, much better, today is a GREAT day. I am one step nearer to an important clinical trial I have been anticipating for close to four, long, pandemic years. During a recent consultation with my current oncologist, Dr Eswar, I (further), expressed myContinue reading Therapeutic Cancer Vaccine


Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Privatisation – ‘the transfer of a business, industry, or service from public to private ownership and control’. The privatisation of United Kingdom public assets, all paid for by taxpayers (us), sold off on the cheap so they could exploit yet more money out of the public is failing us on a grand andContinue reading “Privatisation”

That’s Life

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. There are things we enjoy, love in our lives and things that just have to be done. Most of us have to work for a living, if we are (very) lucky we get to have a job we love? Work, our job, is a massive part of our lives. How muchContinue reading “That’s Life”

Six Years In

Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death. Six years ago to the very day – 23/12/2015 just an ordinary day, then, after what I thought were routine checks, I was told by my GP I had prostate cancer. Three short months later – 17/3/2016 ‘Paddy sContinue reading “Six Years In”

Won The Battle Now The War

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace  Fight Vindication The scan had produced the goods. I felt vindicated for my stubborn refusal to concede the scan. A scan I had been promised. Reality. Truth is if I had not been promised it I would have not even been aware of it?Continue reading “Won The Battle Now The War”

Desperate Times Desperate Measures

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace  Master Forger My frustrations of not receiving a PSMA scan (to inform my advanced cancer treatment) literally, boiled over. With only two possibilities wait (hope) that the Christie produced availability or zero. No possibility for a (UK) scan. We had an imminent trip toContinue reading “Desperate Times Desperate Measures”

Time. 16. 17 And Beyond

Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace Fight For the second time in only a few months I was told that I had (incurable) cancer. I had already been told I had cancer, but not incurable cancer. It was even more terrifying hearing it the second time. They don’t know untilContinue reading “Time. 16. 17 And Beyond”