Life – Terror. Ecstasy. Fight. Denial. Flight. Failure. PAIN. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Hope. Love. Peace – Death.
[As] my cancer has spread (metastasised) to 5 other areas, including my lungs, I completed a month, 4 weeks, 20 days (with weekends off), Radiation Therapy. At the same time commencing, for the first time, Hormone Treatment.
After an incredible two months of travelling I had my first, post-treatment, appraisal. A PSA blood test, followed by a ‘results’ consultation last week. I did have, my now, normal, anxiousness (scaniety) leading up to it. However, I was excited by the prospect of the confirmation of, a favourable, decrease in PSA.
I am approaching my tenth year of living with cancer. I still have vivid memories (see earlier posts), of the ‘beginnings’ and what followed? In my case, the process was as follows; GP diagnosis, referral to specialist (urology), 2nd examination, diagnosis confirmed, clinical biopsy, [accurate diagnosis] confirmed with recommendations for treatment.
Initial treatment options; surgery – radical prostatectomy, radiation therapy (with several options), do fuck all, ‘watchful waiting.’ (with immediate hormone treatment). Please see my previous posts for detailed analysis of; prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment options. The potential for any and all of the above can be affected by many things e.g. age, additional health conditions. Every patient is different.
I opted for surgery, Davinci, Robotic Radical Prostatectomy, surgery. My rationale (as it is always the patients choice, you are not ‘told’ what to choose), the aim at the initial stage was cure. Remove the shitty cancer gland and be done with it! With a surgery route it is still possible for further, radiation treatment. It is not possible to undergo surgery after radiation treatment. The affected area and surrounding areas, bowel, bladder, cannot withstand it. Also, it is not possible to ascertain, early, metastases (spread to other areas), until after surgery.
Post surgery examination of affected tissues and surrounding ‘local’ tissues confirmed, metastases. My cancer had spread outside the prostate into several lymph nodes. The Genie was out of the bottle, advanced prostate cancer, no cure. From that point on it is all about containment, slowing down advancement. Keeping me alive for as long as possible.
As the cancer advances it is possible to see it via scans. PET Scans can, accurately, locate the smallest amount of prostate cancer. I have undergone many scans leading to, several, additional, active, treatments post surgery; two bouts of SABR high intensity, proton beam, radiation treatment. I had chosen (fought for) this option as opposed to systemic, localised, radiation treatment and hormone treatments. I have been delaying hormone treatment as, the body becomes ‘hormone treatment resistant’. A slippery slope, one hormone medicine after another until there are no longer any ‘effective’ hormone therapies left. Final options are; Trials, (hard to locate and difficult to access, due to strict protocols), Chemo Therapy (controversial in terms of quality of life), and, or a combination of all of the above.
Hormone treatment, first post treatment consultation – PSA has reduced significantly (0.28). A combination of radiation therapy and cancer suppression (hormones), which is not surprising as that is what is supposed to happen (it would have been a big issue if it did not).
Pre consultation, remember to, make a list – I had located a new, Lung Cancer Vaccine Trial, [BNT116], delivered via Clatterbridge Cancer Clinic. I had already ‘researched’ and communicated with the trial coordinators. I was not eligible for the trial as, ‘my Lung Cancer is not lung cancer it is prostate cancer (spread) within my lungs’.
I asked my oncologist about, specific, lung cancer treatments and we agreed a CT scan, within the next 3 months, to check/monitor further tumour growth/increase. I asked about potential ‘Trials’ specifically lung cancer vaccine trials. He agreed to, ‘reassess at my next check point’ (September) and to, ‘keep an eye out’ for anything relevant.
I asked about an alternative “better” Hormone treatment that Professor Syndicus had offered, as soon as it was available via Clatterbridge Hospital. She had mentioned this, specific, newish, drug at my ‘second opinion’ consultation. At the time Clatterbridge could not offer it to me. Consultant advised, “if it’s not broken don’t fix it”? “As I am doing well on the current hormones, lets keep it the same unless/until something changes”.
Sick note me – in other news; shingles has completely passed (forever I hope)! Psoriasis is relatively stable and manageable, I had hoped to have a break from immunosuppressant injections but I missed one and that resulted in a, minor, flare up, diabetes has worsened, I expect to graduate to insulin injections at my next clinic.
Generally? I feel quite shit most of the time, especially at night/sleeping …or not! Nothing I cannot ‘live’ with ha ha! Heart conditions – more or less been given the all clear, no further action, just meds for ever! Waiting on a (final) appointment ….delayed due to travelling, to discus/tweaking of meds and what to do if things change.
All in all nothing I was not expecting, no surprises. I would have been surprised at anything different? Happy, and nice to know, just a couple of weeks ahead of a Glasto marathon! PSA from 3.6 to 0.28, a 92% reduction, can only be good news? ‘For a change’.
It’s a guessing game from now on in. Clearly, commencement of immune suppressant injections (12 months ago), due to rampant Psoriasis, pre-radiation treatment, had accelerated cancer spread? However, having been hospitalised for 3 weeks with psoriasis I could not face going there again. Life was, literally, unbearable.
A trade off then? Quality of life? Considering, nine years ago, I was given a 50% chance of surviving 5 years and only a 3% chance of surviving 10 years or more, I cannot complain? If I had been given those odds, (10 years survival), back then, I would have bitten your hand off?
What does not help is that I have several, other, chronic conditions to manage. Without being over dramatic, lately, life is becoming more and more of a day to day struggle. It does feel as though I have moved to the last phase with the cancer? I am in perpetual discomfort (varying degrees of pain) and now, with increasingly, severe, bouts of fatigue? However, based upon these latest results, I could have a couple of ‘goodish’ years left in me yet?
I can promise you, it will not be for the lack of trying.
Life’s good.
10 more sleeps!
#peace
Dying to Live 